from: Jeff Hill
After a night of drinking and watching porn, Dave crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep when he realized he wasn't going to get any milk
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed, wearing a long flowing robe. Dave liked the look of this man, and hoped there was nothing under his robe!
"Who the hell are you?", demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?"
The mysterious man answered, "This isn't your bedroom, and I'm St Buzz".
Dave was stunned. "You mean my career is dead working for QM?"
That can't be, I have so much to live for.
I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me back straight away."
St Buzz, "Yes, you can be reincarnated, but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a hot chick or a goose."
Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a goose.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and squawking around like a CS girl
"This ain't so bad," he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard gander strolled over and said, "So you're the new goose.
How are you enjoying your first day here?
"It's not so bad," replied Dave, "but I have this strange feeling
inside like I'm about to explode."
"You're ovulating," explained the ganderr, "don't tell me you've never
laid an egg before."
"Never," replied Dave.
"Well, just relax and let it happen."
And so he did, and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg popped out from under his tail.
An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
Dave loved eggs in his old life, and he was curious how fresh eggs tasted, so he carefully cracked one open and swallowed the golden goodnes. But Dave was careless, and a lot of the yoke ran down the sides of his mouth.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a goose was the best thing that had
happened to him... ever!!! Even better than viewing porn on the Net!
The joy kept coming, and as he was just about to lay his third egg, he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
shouting,
"Dave!
Wake up, you drunk bastard"
"You're shitting the bed."
Friday, August 10, 2007
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Photo-chop challange
Here is the origional image:
And here are my attempts:
And one from Ryan:
Lets see some more funnies!
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Tick Tock Tick Tock
Posted by Chris
What is that noise? Sounds almost like someone's biological clock is ticking...
Aw don't they look happy!Well the honeymoon is over as tomorrow...
...The Rod Is Coming Out!
As Dave's life is well and truly over now, I think this blog will probably have to close down.
Just don't have sex again and you will be fine matey.I am sure Dave will make a fine father. Just look at these plans!
| when i have kids, i plan to share the internets, and all their goodness with them i will add them to my dodgy emailing group even |
| --Dave, 2nd May 2007 |
Discuss
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
New Desk Day
Posted by Chris
Yesterday Dave went from this:
Image might have been slightly manipluated
To this:
Apparently it was so exciting I received no less than 10 emails about it and about how no-one was allowed to touch it. God Damn I hate this blog.
Discuss.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Where is dave ?
Posted by Chris
Please help us find Dave.
Dave’s Description
Dave Broughton - ABDUCTED, FEARED MURDERED
Date of Birth: 9.11.73
Physical Description: 190cm in Height of large build with dark hair and angry eyes.
Clothing Worn: A black shirt with the words 'Empire Strikes Back' printed on the front, blue jeans, white socks and light coloured Adidas shoes. Dave was wearing a new 'kmart' Belt.
Last Seen: approx 11pm Saturday the 14th of April 2007, Leaving Ani Wu's 30th Birthday Bash at Annerley, Queensland with a silly grin on his face.
UPDATE: Dave has been found!
Stephen: I can't believe he took off like that. and we couldn't find him.
Deano: it was almost as big a manhunt as when that daniel kid got took.
Dave: i powered home for some reason
Dave: i dont know why
Drew: camilla sure is in a bad way right now
Drew: dave is banned from parties
Drew: i dont feel to bad to be honest, but i think im still drunk and worst is still to come
Drew: in conclusion, top party kc/wu
Stephen: Drew was manin the shots and everyone that came to the sink had to have one or he'd get angry.
Photos from the party are now online!
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Funny Dave conversation of the week
Posted by Chris
From: Dave
To: [Wow Email Group]
(KC; Ryan; Drew; Deano; Glasso; Jeffy; Simon; Chrisy)
Subject: RE: I'm done!
for all you lamos
http://www.visible-ink.org/...
From: Ryan
To: [Wow Email Group] + Dave
Subject: RE: I'm done!
I've already quit smoking durries this year as if Im going to quit another addiction.
When Dave quits his addiction (smoking cawk) I'll quit the WoW.
From: Dave
To: [Wow Email Group]
Subject: RE: I'm done!
u r
From: Ryan
To: [Wow Email Group] + Dave
Subject: RE: I'm done!
SWIDT?
From: Dave
To: [Wow Email Group]
Subject: RE: I'm done!
DIAFF
-- Mouse over the dashed items if you don't know what they mean.
(Jeff this means you!)
Friday, April 6, 2007
Dave quote of the week
Posted by Chris
“hey, i like alcohol, and chix yacking?
thats super hawt!!!”-- Dave, 6th April 2007
Thursday, April 5, 2007
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